Once upon a time in a land not so far away... ..

Gordon Brown as a young man!

Once upon a time, there was a country run by a big, powerful bear-like creature called the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister had big, grabbing hands and vicious claws and he spent his time making laws and taking other people's money, hiding it away in huge silk money bags.

The Prime Minister lived in a big castle with all of his friends, called MPs. These were shrew-like beasties, some were cute, others just a bit rank. They were all very greedy and lived on hand-outs from the Prime Minister's money bags. 


They were spoiled too - and asked for hand outs every day. Some used these hand outs to buy gourmet food, others, second homes, bath plugs, luxury holidays or pornographic magazines! 

Whatever they wanted, the Prime Minister just handed it over, no questions asked. It really was the life of Riley in the land of plenty! Now, some MPs were quite clever - and even greedier than the others. They made fictitious claims, even pretending to have second homes which they furnished with all kinds of fictional fixtures. The money was just handed over!

Now, the citizens of this mythical land(!) got really cross that their hard-earned money was being used to pay for lobster & caviar, and they got a little cross. Quite angry, really. 


The Prime Minister, Gordon Bear got a bit frightened. What would happen if nobody loved him? Would they still want him as their Prime Minister, or would they kick him out of his castle, and give the keys to David the Desperate Crocodile, who was always lurking in the muddy waters nearby?

Gordon had to act in a manly way. He went to his MPs and told them they had been naughty with their expenses, and that the citizens were getting cross. He told them they’d have to behave, or they might lose their seats, and end up sitting on the floor!

The MPs thought.. and thought.. and thought again. After a few seconds, they turned round and smiled at Gordon in a loving kind of way, before one of them stood up & shouted... “Stuff you, Gordon Bear!! We’ve got our nostrils in the honey pot, and they are going to stay there!’

Gordon cried. He was so angry. There was nothing he could do, as in this mythical land, the MPs made all of the rules, and controlled their own salaries, expenses, benefits & perks. No one could challenge them, not even Gordon!

The MPs said ‘Huzzah’, kept taking the money from Gordon’s silk bags, and they all lived happily ever after!

Sadly - the mythical land is the UK, and this wasn’t a fairy tale. It’s real politics in the UK– today!

How to deal with O2 > A shambolic, incompetent company...

After waking up in a really positive mood, my day was ruined by a letter warning me of court action if I didn't pay £300 allegedly owed to O2.

Having no overdue accounts with O2.. or with anyone, and paying all my bills electronically by Direct Debit, this was a bit of a surprise and caused immense, choking irritation. My immediate response was to call O2 and to shout manically at them. However, this proved difficult. However, after pressing something in the region of a thousand buttons, I was connected...

... Firstly: (to) Debt Assistance. After a bit of a scream, they admitted they'd totally cocked things up, 'back in 2006'. I had actually OVERPAID on my account, and THEY OWED ME nearly £300. So, they owed me nearly £300, and rather than doing something sensible, like, erm.. paying it back (novel idea, that!) - they passed all of my personal details on to a Debt Recovery Agency (aka an assortment of rabid, asinine w@nk3rs) to collect £300 FROM ME - via the County Court! That's a real class act, is it not??

O2 were embarrassed by the level of their mismanagement, and did not quite know how to speak to me. I made it VERY clear how angry I was, and I'm quite surprised the phone handset did not actually melt. I'm sure my neighbors heard most of it...

I was passed to Disconnections, in terms of ending my relationship with this company of asses, and to get compensation for damage done to my credit reference, and stress caused by their monstrous error.

However, Disconnections told me, after 20 minutes of ranting that I needed Customer Relations. After 20 mins of howling at them, I was told I needed Customer Service, who promptly passed me back to... Debt Recovery!

Interestingly, the first guy had not even made a note of my call, and had not reversed the damage O2's cock-up had done > So I had to got thru it all over again...

End of a long story, I'm now £500 better off courtesy of O2, and there are to be no further bills on my iPhone. A result, but absolute chaos and determination were needed to achieve a resolution to what never should have happened.

Now, I need to calm down & get some fresh air!